Is there a type of function where every point has exactly one tangent line passing through it? If yes, what is this type of function called?

“We don’t know that. In any case, as (PM) Menzies said, (before the 1952 Emu Plains (SA) and Maralinga (SA) Nuclear Tests) noone lives there:—just a few primitives. Hold on, (muffled: “I thought I bloody told you lot to delete all that stuff, it makes us look bad!”) Look, ah, sorry, look I’m a very busy man.”

y=x²

“Now, look, we’ve been monitoring your mob’s internet use in certain serviced communities and the reports are highly alarming. The wastewater analysis confirms it”

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“Its just blank. It’s not even turned on.”

Jesus, of course, spoke in parabolas. In those days it was like the Beatles at Shea stadium, pretty limited amplification. But being a logical man he figured if he stands the focus he could probably pull off a miracle.

“Now, look, look, look, they have the right to defend themselves and that’s my last comment on the matter”

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“…BITRATE yes! that’s what I said! Anyway I was just enquiring on the um, outbit flowrate, the flowbut outrate for the link up link you up to the invisible part which is in the clouds but so high up that it’s totally invisible and safe as houses. Anyway I think he said the upbit loadrate was about a, um, Jiggabout per Fencepostsecond from the latest douver, you know, lacky, douverlacky. Yeah, so I said, “Oh OK, so it’s sort on a par there with, ah, copper?” And he goes: “You can’t be serious?” I mean, gee we’ve just invested 10 billion into his product and I can tell you right now it’s a very serious endeavour. Very very. Any outward goings are a very serious matter indeed”

“Hang on, so, since the time when the First Whities rocked up in 1788 and since 1950 when the whitefella contaminated Emu Plains, Maralinga and the surrounding parts of South Australia including flora and fauna and the residents of nearby Aboriginal Communities, with radioactive fallout (see e.g.: “Aunty Haseldine, 2017 speech”) whitey hasn’t been all that great has he? Also, in perhaps the last 40 years, the whitefella has all but destroyed the Murray-Darling Basin’s viability as a catchment area for clean water essential in turn for the whole ecosystem and the viability of flora and fauna in the region if not man himself. Megadeaths of fish every few years. Gee Whitey is so smart he’s fucked everything up in under 200 years and hes accelerating. So Please Don’t Ask Me How I’ve Been Getting On! Don’t you dare tell us: “If you’re not serving the economy then you must be a drain”. It’s evident that you lot have got some basic misunderstandings, but have the audacity to rock up here and say “Blackfellas are heathen primitives” “Look, they haven’t even invented the wheel yet! ho ho and effing ho!”* Then you proceed to wipe Blackie off the face of the land. Gee, you’re not related to that, Yahoo, are you?”

“Well, don’t they say we all come from a common ancestor? Anycase I think I’m Lydonian”.

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“Look, as MP’s, for issues of national security we have that all taken care of: In fact Benji recently sold us a VPN system that’s absolutely secure: “Safe as Houses”. Also, for a low 10 Billion they gave us a system by which all of Australia’s most sensitive data is now stored in some cloud somewhere. Also it’s an invisible cloud. No Australian can access the data:—that ensures absolute security. Money well spent, that’s for sure. That computer there is uploading as we speak”

Eg a parabola

“Escusez moi but, isn’t calling a Blackfella a “Schmuck”, a kind of anti-antisemitism? And why do they have their own special words for racism applied to them. Noone else in the world does that.”

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(muffled: “Can we arrest this schmuck? (pause) What? (pause) Why not? (pause) Yeah, just keep an eye on him… yeah yeah we don’t want anyone rocking the boat yada yada…(pause) Yes, of course I know what that means!:—No moving from side to side, in public at least, because of possible earthquake phenomena. As if we haven’t got enough on our plate already! Then there’s the issue that terrorists might start moving from side to side in concert with each other. Possibly in sync by some timing signal that could be disseminated over the radio if not by TV. OK so we’re going to have to, ban everything, but we’ll start with um, communication and music. See how we go. Howzat? (pause) Hello? Damn:— They hung up!:—I was going to ask, what about people moving from side to side, in private?:—Do we need more legislative support, and technical, ah, capabilities to monitor such behaviour. It’s for the good of the whole community. Bugger it, we’ll just do it and get the permission later”.

‘Bitrate?”

“Explains why I got cutoff the dole 5 times in 3 months”

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In addition he was often obtuse. By studying cartoons on ancient papyrus scrolls it would appear he made advances to members of the opposite sex with lines such as “I’m so obtuse it took me all this time to notice you’re a cutey”. Fortunately this kind of blatantly sexist remark would not be tolerated in today’s world. Nor, of course, would tipping over tables where people, (whose vocation was that of serving the economy) were disrupted, if not terrorised for life. We can’t have a grown man tipping over tables even one. Meanwhile, of course, Israel has the right to defend itself”

“It had the right to that on Oct7/23 but it failed. That didn’t give it the right to attack it’s neighbours for everyday since. Conducting Blitzkrieg and genocide over the whole of Gaza and now The Lebanon”

“Well who’s monitoring your internet access?”

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He was certainly considered eccentric by some:—but he cautioned: “Thouest shaltest notest confuse an eccentricity of zero with normality”. Alas, the people then, just as the people now, were just bewildered. They assumed countenances indicative of an internal 404 error, aka, at least traditionally, as a “WTF”.

“Okidoki. L-Y-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm, and, enter! Damn: Computer says no. Hmm, hmm. Well let’s just try “Dorian”. (pause) Yes, that works. Phew! Progress! Ok, so you can go now:—Oh, but, ah, you know, um keep a lid on it, and um, oh yeah: No side to side type motion of any sort. Just giving you the heads up, you know. (hushed) OK so just say your name’s Dorian on the way out and that Asst. Minister Mal McAlpine was assisting with your application today. That’s the one for telling us everything about yourself, if they enquire. Hunky Dory; end of story.”

“You can’t be serious!”

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“Strange, I’ve been getting that a lot lately. Even when I had the international call with Benji and we got onto discussing the, um, the um throughput per offpeak weekend sort of thing you know the flops per megabit…”

EDIT: A more scholarly view is that the possibly mythical figure referred to in the above as “Jesus”, spoke, in fact, in parabolae. It seems he also often engaged in hyperbole, or got elliptical, and this is a currently a matter undergoing intense scrutiny. An army of ChatGPT bots was selected for this purpose owing to their objectivity.

“Hey Whitey, did you know that the Australian Aborigines lived for 65 000 years without money?”

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

“No, that’s what I originally thought too, but don’t you see:—somehow they built a program that doesn’t even put anything on the screen! OMG. It’s so….Israeli!” That’s where the 10 billion goes:—writing code that can do that. God they are a smart bunch”

“You’re not related to that, ah, “Lydia” person are you, incidentally? We need to know, (trailing off) for the records and so on”. BeepBeepBeep. “Hello, yes, it’s all under control:—(muffled) Look, I just had to say that under the provisions of Act 001 subclause [978–981] (pause) for the purposes of gathering information and which I’m currently engaged in right now thankyouverymuch, so, yes, if you wouldn’t mind”. Yes, ah, so where we’re we? Yes, cousins and brothers, known associates etc.? It’s just for the computers you understand, I don’t need to know, you know. When there’s an asterixed field and it’s not filled out, well the whole thing just grinds to a halt. Anyway, the ancestry of your ancestry?”